The Return of Dorothy's Ex

Exes...Yikes! Break ups are difficult enough when they just involve a person you've known for a few months or so. I don't want to think about the difficulty of dealing with ending a relationship after 38 years! Nevertheless, it's a reality for many people, and it's wise for the writers to focus on that particular subject from time to time (as they do here).

I can't personally relate to a relationship ending after 38 years, but to the extent to which I can relate, I know it would be completely heart-wrenching for me if I were in Dorothy's shoes! Surely after such a long time, two people become reliant upon each other in many ways. Personally, I would feel a great sense of emptiness. I would wonder where to go from that point and how to move on. In all probability, I would cut the person out of my life like a tumor in order to allow myself to heal from it as quickly and painlessly as possible. I'm getting depressed just thinking about the emotional upheaval it would mean for me. I don't know if Dorothy's strength in dealing with Stan is a result of her age (wiser and more grounded), her basic personality, or something else, but she is definitely one tough woman! 

Honestly, Dorothy is a saint for even continuing to speak to Stan, as far as I am concerned. Their son and daughter are grown, so I can't see any need for her to keep in touch with him. In this episode, he seeks her out to help complete some paperwork relating to when they were still married, but she certainly treats him very courteously given that he left her after 38 years without even saying goodbye. In the second episode, we learn that Dorothy only found out about the divorce because Stan's lawyer called to give her the news! Taking that into consideration, the fact that she will take time out of her day to help him fill out paperwork and have lunch with him is very generous on her part!

OK, so maybe Dorothy was a little more than polite to Stan as the evening progressed! The rest of the girls were shocked when they saw Stan walking around the house in Dorothy's night robe the next morning. Really, why wouldn't they be? Sophia handles it like a champ. She makes her opinion on the subject of Dorothy reuniting with Stan very clear, but she does it without being overly forceful. Blanche and Rose are in agreement with Sophia, of course. As friends, they have more leeway when it comes to knocking some sense into Dorothy's head. A mother has to exercise more restraint. I always find it easier to listen to my friends' criticism than to my parents'. Perhaps it's just easier to admit when you're wrong to your friends? I'm not really sure. Regardless, I think each of the girls handles the situation very well. They are all firm, but you never doubt that the girls will all be there for Dorothy no matter what decision she chooses.

No cheesecake...

Stan infuriates me in this episode! In later episodes, he has a few shining moments where I find that I can cut him some slack, but here I think he's a selfish yutz (as Sophia would say)! He just wants someone to be with him. Chrissy left him and so he went right back to Dorothy. He doesn't really love her, though. He is simply afraid to be alone, and he is using Dorothy as a comfortable Plan B. Even when Dorothy refuses him, he runs back to Chrissy. It was (at the very least) somewhat noble of him to pick Dorothy over Chrissy when given the choice, but if he really loved Dorothy, he wouldn't have let her go that easily. Anyway, I think it's frustrating. There's a difference between love/commitment and the fear of being alone. I would want to be with someone because they wanted me, not because the idea of being single frightened them into choosing me!

Interested in another pearl of wisdom from this show? A woman's best friends know more about that woman's boyfriend than he will ever know! That's not just something that's contrived for TV. That's for real! Other than that, the only other comment I have is this: Rose is a truly terrible storyteller, but her stories are so funny that it makes it OK! The whole story of Eddie The Aqua Midget is pretty funny, but Blanche's puns are what make it so completely hysterical! I'm into puns, so maybe it's just me, but it's one of my favorite Rose stories! :)


***Cheesecake count: 1

St. Olaf v. Sicily: 0 to 1

References: Lucille Ball

Quote of the day:

Rose: That's where I first met Eddie The Aqua Midget...I didn't realize it, but he was falling for me.
Blanche: Didn't have far to fall!
Rose: It started with little things.
Blanche: I bet!

The Heart Attack

Death is a common theme on Golden Girls. It will come up a lot throughout the series, but they take a slightly different spin on it each time. It's completely understandable that death is a theme of the show given that the characters are all over 50. As my grandpa said to my father on dad's 50th birthday, "It was when I hit 50 that I realized I probably had more birthdays behind me than ahead of me!" The look on my dad's face was priceless--but I digress! As I said, the show looks at death from a few different angles. This episode evaluates it primarily from a mother-daughter perspective, but Blanche and Rose throw their 2 cents in as well. Naturally, the show does an excellent job of balancing a difficult topic like death with a few hearty laughs. I know I've said it before, but it's really fantastic how the writers of the show can take something like death and make it comical without being irreverent. Obviously, the actresses are a part of making that work, too.

Personally, I find myself thinking of death more often than I think of growing old. I suppose this is because death is an absolute guarantee and being old is less of a certainty than death (but then again, I don't believe there's anything more certain in life than death...). Of course, the girls find themselves thinking of the things that they love most about life and the people that mean the most to them. Betty White does a beautiful job with her interpretation of Rose's feelings towards her late husband Charlie's death. According to the show's timeline, Charlie has been dead for 15 years. The story of how Charlie passed away is actually very fitting for Rose's character and very funny...you'll have to check that part out for yourself if you haven't already! ;) Regardless, Rose tells the story in a way that's funny but completely heartwarming and she only tears up slightly at the very  end. I think it's the golden moment of this episode, really (pun intended as always! Haha). While Rose is remembering the difficulty of losing someone close to her, Dorothy is grappling with the fact that she may lose her mother very soon. She notes that this is upsetting not simply because she will be losing someone she loves, but also because she will be an orphan. Plus, she has the additional fear that the loss of one's parents "pushes you up to the front of the line." Losing your parents seems like a bit of a trifecta of fear: loss of a loved one, becoming an orphan, and realizing that you're probably next. I'm not looking forward to crossing that bridge...let's move on to some concepts that are less depressing!

Listening to Blanche and Rose discuss how they want to be buried once they're dead is great! I love their ideas about the afterlife, too! Blanche is obsessed with whether or not there are men in heaven, and Rose reveals that she believes there to be separate heavens for each denomination. Sophia just wants them to shut up, of course, but she does tell the girls how much she loves them. She also tells Dorothy that she is her favorite child--a claim that she retracts immediately when she discovers that she's not actually having a heart attack and will, in fact, be fine. This makes me wonder, though, do parents really have favorites? They always say they don't, but...I guess I'll find out someday for myself! :)

So what about all of that food?! Overeating caused Sophia to feel sick to her stomach. Understandably, the doctor scolds her for overeating, but I think at her age...who cares? She's over 80! I say, if you've made it that far then you may as well just throw all caution to the wind, as it were. Additionally, I find it very annoying that (once again) they have a boat load of food and not a single piece of cheesecake in sight. In later seasons of the show, it shows up in almost every episode! Oh well...we'll get there. Finally, I just love how the girls almost use death as an excuse to gorge themselves on chocolate cake! It's something that I've thought of plenty of times! You never know when your last meal is going to be...do you really want it to be a watercress salad?

***Cheesecake count: 1

St. Olaf vs. Sicily: 0 to 1

References:
Princess Di and Pavarotti

Quote of the day:

Blanche: I want to lie in state and then be buried in Arlington Cemetery.
Rose: Why Arlington Cemetery?
Blanche: 'Cause it's full of men!

Blanche & The Younger Man

Dirk and Blanche

If you know anything about me, you know that this episode will be a favorite of mine just based on the title alone. ;) I apologize for the lack of deliberation on my part in keeping these postings updated. I really will try to be more proactive in getting them up! I wouldn't want to disappoint all of my adoring fans! Haha!




Anyway, I know it's kind of cheesy, but I just get a warm, calming feeling every time I hear the theme song for this show. I can be in the crabbbiest of moods, but when I hear, "Thank you for being a friend..." I just start to feel happy and relaxed. This brings me to a sad note, Andrew Gold passed away this week. He wrote the theme song featured on the show. It got me to thinking, though, that I truly hope that someday when I'm gone, I will have left behind something that is a source of happiness to someone else in the way that his song is for me. How perfect is it that his last name is Gold, by the way? Interesting coincidence, I think.

This episode is titled after Blanche's subplot, but I actually think the subplot with Rose and her mother stands out as the central plot for this episode. If you've been following my posts at all, you know that I prefer to start with the darker themes and then get into the lighthearted, funny stuff so that we can end on a happy note (as nearly all of the episodes end on a happy note, it only seems appropriate!). Ergo, we'll take a look at the issue with Rose and her mother and then get into Blanche and her cougar-happy ways!

Rose and her mother (Alma)

If I ever have a daughter that treats me the way Rose is treating her mother...Lord help her! I was annoyed for Alma (Rose's mom) within the first few moments of her visit. Alma is perfectly capable of taking care of herself and Rose insists on babying her to death. Of course, Rose's intentions are good (when are they anything less?), but I feel embarrassed for elderly people when other adults speak to them as if they are children. Granted, sometimes elderly people believe themselves to be more capable than they really are and they require assistance to get through the day. This is perfectly understandable and I would imagine that it would be very difficult to have to tell someone (especially someone you love) that they are simply not able to live as independently as they have been accustomed. Ideally, adult children would have the ability to discern to what extent their elderly parents are capable of living without assistance and react accordingly.

Actually, this represents yet another reason why I love this show so much. I spend very little time thinking of my parents' and my twilight years, but that time will someday come and it is better to be preparing yourself for what may lie ahead. Golden Girls gets me thinking about how I would react in their situations, and I don't believe that I would spend much time contemplating my life after 50 and beyond if it weren't for some of the themes I see on the show.

I enjoy looking at the mother-daughter relationship from the "later in life" angle. Mother-daughter relationships are often depicted when the daughter is a teen, but seeing it from the perspective of two older women is definitely more rare. I also like how Rose and Alma's relationship is contrasted with Dorothy and Sophia's. I think the writers did a good job demonstrating the differences and similarities here: the desire to protect one another versus the inclination to be overprotective, for example. Rose and Dorothy's attitudes towards their mothers are actually very appropriate given their characters. Rose is more nurturing and as such it is more understandable that she would become overly protective of her mother. Dorothy is more practical. She sees that her mother needs assistance in some ways, but is generally quite independent and Dorothy gives Sophia adequate freedom and space. The conversation that ultimately remedies the friction between Rose and her mother is so touching! I think we all dread the day that our parents will someday leave us. It can be a haunting thought and it is no wonder that Rose can't even bring herself to think about it.

Stop! Cougar time!

The entire subplot with Blanche and Dirk (the cougar bait) is perfect from beginning to end! To start with, it creates a perfect comedic counterbalance for the graver Rose and Alma subplot. Additionally, it is an easy way to work in one-liners that allow the girls to slam Blanche for her vanity. Finally, hearing Dirk tell Blanche, "You remind me of my mother," toward the end of the episode just wraps it up perfectly! I like that Alma had a 3 year relationship with a younger man, too. It gives the 2 subplots some overlap and allows the episode a bit more uniformity/solidarity. I think the best part of all of it, though, has to be how relentless Dorothy is when she teases Blanche about Dirk.

Blanche: A man [Dirk's] age is used to a trim body with good tone.
Dorothy: So buy him a princess phone.

You can't beat that stuff!

***Cheesecake count: 1...still...

St. Olaf vs. Sicily: 0 to1

References:
Andy Griffith, John Cameron Swayze, and Walt Disney

Quote of the day:

Blanche: Dirk is nearly 5 years younger than I am.
Dorothy: In what, Blanche? Dog years?
Blanche: However, I have decided to overlook that minor detail and succumb to the Vesuvius of passion that is about to erupt from me. 
Sophia: Stand back. We're going to get something on us!

Break In

Before I get started, let me just say that I had the pleasure of watching this episode with Brittany, one of my best friends! For me, that's a huge part of what makes "The Golden Girls" so special: bonding with your best girl friends (and guy friends, too!).

Discovering that they had been robbed.

Boy, this episode hits on a bunch of issues that are truly relevant! There's intimidation of women/elderly, the presence of a man as a perceived sense of security, and finally gun safety. Of course, this is "Golden Girls", so there are plenty of fun and lighthearted moments, too! Let's talk about the dark stuff first so that we can end on a fun note, shall we?

Rose is probably the central character in this episode, but Dorothy's attitude and display of character completely steal the show in my book! She really proves that she's the strong, reasonable one of the bunch time and time again. I love how she handles herself when that creep of a salesman tries to scare the girls into buying a 10,000$ security system! His nonsense about how 1 in 4 people will be the victim of a violent crime is such an obvious ploy to squeeze money out of them. As a woman, I find it offensive and disgusting that a man would try to take advantage of a woman by making her feel afraid and vulnerable. Additionally, they are all older women and I am always sickened when I hear stories about elderly people getting scammed. Dorothy keeps the girls from making an imprudent decision, however. She tells the man that they will buy a security package from a competing security company and then kicks him out of the house!

Rose's encounter in the parking garage.

I am also interested in the girls' debate about whether or not the presence of men makes a group of women safer. Rose says that she feels safer if a man is present, but Dorothy calls it a false sense of security. Of course, Dorothy's assertion is more logical, but personally I feel safer when I am with a man, too. I think this is a social construct that is hard to escape sometimes. Girls are raised to be very cautious of strange men. In fact, sometimes I don't think men realize that a woman walking at night by herself is going to be very suspicious of a man if he approaches her abruptly or comes too close to her. I've had discussions about this very thing with my girl friends and there seems to be a consensus that when we're alone we are more suspicious of others. Walking with a boyfriend, brother, father or male friend (etc.) tends to lessen this feeling, however.

Rose is such a sweet character! It's very hard to watch her be so helplessly afraid because she's easily the gentlest spirit on the show and the one whom the audience will feel the greatest need to see protected. The idea of Rose wielding a gun is just totally disturbing. If one of them has to handle a gun, it should definitely be Dorothy! Rose is truly lucky to have such a good friend in Dorothy. Rose is able to break down in her friend's arms as she does without fear of being judged or harshly criticized. I'm glad that Rose is able to put her fear aside finally, but I wonder if she would have been able to do so if she had not had that encounter in the parking lot. I also wonder how long her fear would have crippled her if she had not had that encounter, though. It's kind of a sad prospect if you think about it in more realistic terms and outside of the context of resolving something in a 30 minute story.

"I'd rather you shot Lester!"- Blanche

Enough of the tough stuff! There are some great moments in this episode. First of all, I love that the girls were at a Madonna concert the night they were robbed. I like how they are painted as hip and trendy despite their age! Additionally, I love how Dorothy quotes Dirty Harry in order to try to intimidate the robbers! You don't even have to watch the episode! Just imagine Bea Arthur's voice quoting Clint Eastwood's most famous line from that movie. It's just too much! Oh...and Blanche maces herself in the face.

One minor thing--Blanche makes fun of Dorothy's mink stole for being out of style, but it's the same stole that Blanche borrows on her date with Harry in the very first episode. Maybe styles changed very quickly at that time?

***Cheesecake count: 1

References: Madonna...I'm not linking anything to her name. You know who she is!

St.Olaf vs. Sicily: 0 to 1

Quote of the day:
Rose: [The robbers] were probably looking for drugs!
Dorothy: We have Maalox and estrogen! How many junkies have gas and hot flashes?

The Competition

Rose and Sophia wearing Blanche's new bowling outfit! ;)

Dorothy and Blanche team up against Rose and Sophia in a bowling competition. If Sophia wins, she gets to fly to Sicily and Dorothy will buy the plane ticket! If Dorothy wins, she gets Sophia's antique silver earrings. This is the first episode to give Sophia more time in the limelight. Her character turned out to be very popular with the audience. I attribute it to her ability to get away with saying whatever she feels inclined to say whenever she feels inclined to say it. This episode also shows off what a champ Sophia is! She's a great bowler, a great cook, and she's still got enough spunk to keep the fellas chasing her! Actually, I can't blame her for finding Augustine cute! I think he's cute (as men over 80 go). The whole story between them is very sweet. I think there's something appealing about love blossoming at an advanced age. It's nice to see that the young don't have a monopoly on romance.

The bowling competition definitely brings out the competitor in Rose. It's so funny that this sweet, cheerful little Minnesota farm girl is so cut-throat and relentlessly competitive, but I think it makes her a more well-rounded character. Not to mention that it's just hilarious to watch her go from docile and complacent to absolutely fierce when something turns into a contest. Her competitiveness becomes a running joke throughout the series.

A little trash talk before the big game!

Comedically, there were a few things that really stood out in this episode: Sophia's inexplicable knack for bowling, the relentless trash talking that goes on between the two teams of girls throughout the episode (Blanche and Drothy on one team versus Sophia and Rose on the other), and the cheap tricks that Sophia and Rose use to distract Blanche and Dorothy during the bowling match. It's appropriate that Rose and Sophia play dirty to increase their chances of winning. Rose is totally out for blood and Sophia wants to win to prove to Dorothy that she is not a feeble old woman (and she wants Dorothy to fund her plane ticket to Sicily, of course, per the terms of the bet). Plus, Sophia is not above cheating anyway. Like I said, she can get away with it somehow!

Sophia gives Dorothy the earrings after all.

There aren't any inconsistencies to report and all of the characters adhere to their general ways, so there's not much to be said about this episode in that respect. I would say, however, that if I were Dorothy, I would not have lost intentionally. I know she did it so that her mother could go to Italy, but I guess I just relate to Rose's competitiveness! If I were Dorothy, I would have gone for the win and talked nonstop trash. I would still buy my mom's ticket to Italy, though. That way I could give her what she really wants and still have walked away with the win! ;)



***Cheesecake count: Still 1. They are guzzling coffee and tea like crazy, though! I never noticed how much coffee and tea they drink, I guess

References: None stood out

St.Olaf vs. Sicily: 0 to 1

Quote of the day:

Sophia: How do I look?
Dorothy: Like a widow in mourning.
Sophia: Perfect! He'll know I'm available!

On Golden Girls

Before I get started, let me inform you that I am spending my Friday night updating my Golden Girls blog. I'm feeling like Dorothy tonight! Haha!

Who wouldn't want to start the day sharing breakfast with their best friends?

Of course, Blanche hits on the cop as soon as she gets the chance! ;)

OK, on with the show (pun completely intended). This is a very cut and dry Golden Girls episode. The girls are really on a roll making fun of each other nonstop and there's one basic plot focus: the ungrateful punk of a teenage grandson coming to visit and disrupting the usual ebb and flow of the girls' daily routine. Actually, he really gets on my nerves. Even after finding out that he (Blanche's grandson David) has been struggling with a difficult situation at home, it's hard for me to be all that sympathetic. I mean, how can anyone be so disrespectful when speaking to his grandmother? It's just bad manners. Nevertheless, I think the girls handle the situation beautifully and Dorothy does an especially good job of challenging David to think outside of himself/beyond his present situation. Sophia's method for handling David's attitude is not half bad, either! Also, my heart goes out to Blanche in this episode when she blames herself for David's troubles.

My favorite scene features Dorothy and Sophia trying to share a bed in order to give David a room to himself. The banter here is classic, but they also bond and reminisce about the last time they had to share a bed. I crack up when Sophia makes her voice deeper and says, "Mommy, I'm having a bed dream!" as she imitates Dorothy as a small child! All humor aside, I think their relationship is very special.

Blanche with her grandson (David)

Now, let's talk inconsistencies! Blanche claims to have a number of children. Off the top of my head, I know that she claims to have children named Janet, Rebecca, Matthew, Biff, Doug, and Skippy. However, we never once meet one of Blanche's sons. Rebecca is the daughter that makes the greatest number of appearances on the show. We only meet Janet at the tail end of the series and she does not look remotely old enough to be David's mother. We're talking maybe a 10 year difference. Actually, I just looked it up on IMDB and the actress who played Janet (Jessica Lundy) is only 3 years older than the actor who played David (Billy Jayne). Anyway, you would think something like the number of children a character has would be easy for the writers to keep consistent. 


***
Cheesecake count: 1


References: Sly Stalone and Cary Grant


St. Olaf v. Sicily: 0 to 1. Now let me be specific! We hear about Rose's farm life and about life in Sicily in this episode, but I will not add these references to the count because it has to start with "Back in St.Olaf" for Rose or "Picture it: Sicily, 19XX" for Sophia (or some variation of those story openings) to count in my tally.


Quote of the day:


"Personally, I like to lay into a kid with a melon baller. It's got a nice weight, good balance in the hand, and it's portable." -Sophia Petrillo 

The Triangle

Blanche hits Elliot when he tries to make a move on her.

This scenario is very relatable. It's understood that when your best friend calls "shotgun" on a man, you back off (even if you're attracted to him, too)! In this case, Blanche was a good friend and backed off of Elliot for Dorothy's sake. I was surprised, however, that Elliot chose to hit on Blanche in spite of his blossoming relationship with Dorothy. Does he seriously think that getting involved with two women is a good idea when those women are roommates? Not that I condone infidelity, mind you, but if you're going to be unfaithful you ought to at least be stealthy about it!

Blanche tells Dorothy the truth about Elliot.

My heart really goes out to Blanche in this episode. I would find it very difficult to have a close friend put her trust in a man she hardly knew rather than put her trust in me. Moreover, Dorothy calls Blanche some very cruel names when Blanche was only trying to be a caring, honest friend. I am especially bothered by Elliot's ability to lie to Dorothy's face! The idea of asking someone a question flat out and having them look you in the eye and lie to you just makes my blood boil! It means that you are more concerned with your own self-interest than the interest of someone that you're supposed to care about. Not only that, but you are completely taking advantage of the other person's complete trust for you! Ugh! Liars just irk me!

I have to hand it to Rose for helping to get the truth out of Elliot. People may think that Rose is just a big dummy, but she can be very smart when it counts. Actually, for a woman who is often naive, she was very crafty! Blanche is so quick to forgive Dorothy's cruelty toward her, and I think that is a strong testament to the solidity of their friendship. Blanche is often depicted as overly proud, but she puts her pride aside effortlessly to renew her friendship with Dorothy.

Making up! 

Apart from the central plot, I do not have much else to add. I will only say that I can hardly believe that Mama Celeste makes better pizza than Sophia! Also, this episode features Sophia's first story about Sicily! I wonder who tells more stories about their hometown between Sophia and Rose? So far it's Sophia 1 and Rose 0, but there is plenty of time for that to change! Maybe I'll keep score of that, too.

Cheese cake count: Still 1

References: Jerry Vale and John Forsythe

Rose stories v. Sophia stories (St.Olaf and Sicily respectively): 0 to 1

Quote of the day:

"I know I look square, but I'm like my father's tractor. I take a while to warm up, but once I get going I can turn your topsoil until the cows come home." -Rose Nylund